In Which My Reward Is Not Rewarding

I wanted to reward myself in my weight loss journey, but in the past I have rewarded myself with food and that's just a bad idea all around. So this time, I decided that I would go to the nail salon, get myself a pedicure and an eyebrow wax for losing the first 5% of my weight loss goal.

Okay, when I say eyebrows, I mean eyebrows, upper lip and mutton chops. One of the downsides of having Polycycstic Ovarian Syndrome is that I am insanely hairy thanks to excess andogren in my body. Fun. Add onto that the fact that acne and obesity are other side effects, and I'm lucky I landed a husband while I was still super hot.

So I'm laying there on the bed that they're going to wax me on, and the short little pregnant Asian lady says to me "you very hairy. you let go downhill".

Lady, you don't know the half of it.

In Which I Hate Mother Nature

Watch out, world, it's that time of the month.

If you think this is too much information for me to share, you obviously don't know me. There's no such thing as a verbal filter for me, and among nursing student/now nurses, there's nothing like the gross stuff to move along a conversation. A good bowel movement? Very important in the ways of assessments! Green vomit? Maybe it's gastroenteritis or maybe you just had too much green frosting on your cupcake last night. Burning when you pee? Gosh, I hope it's not the syph.

So I'm bitchy, and grumpy, and I gave up bread for Lent so my intake of carbs is WAY down, hence making me even more irritable.

I MAY have eaten my weight in ice cream yesterday.

But, today is a new day, and I have...

A BRAND NEW PAIR OF RUNNING SHOES!! (and awesome calves. I know this.)

So with my new shoes on, I approach my old nemesis. I didn't work out yesterday because Dan and I had to spend the morning at the DMV. I forgot to pay my registration last month...oops! So I decided that I was going to just work a little harder today to make up for it.

My phone let me run 3.85km today in 28.5 minutes, so I figure that's good enough for me. For the most part, I've cut my kcals down to between 1200-1500 per day. I'm really enjoying my Just Dance 3 for the Kinect and I find that this makes me sweat as much (if not more than) jogging on the treadmill.

I just hope no one sees me dancing around, because I totally show my white girl dance skills on this game.

In Which I--Wait, What?

I started using the Couch to 5K app on my phone. The idea is for you to train to do 5k in 30 minutes. I've done the C25K thing before, but never on my phone. So there I am, my timer counting down (you didn't really think I did over two miles in fifteen minutes, did you?!), running along (okay, running for 60 seconds and then walking for 90. Leave me alone, I'm taking baby steps in my fight to not be fat here, mmmkay?), and my phone chimes to tell me I'm done.

Um, what?

According to my calculations, 2.18 miles is roughly 3.51 km. That's 1.49 km less than what I was trying to attain.

Even my phone app thinks I'm too much of a wimp to do a full 5k.

In Which I Eat Crackers...Lots of Crackers

I am finally starting to come back to life after the evil that is known as the Norovirus. Five days of crackers, soup, and instant breakfasts. There also was a cheese debacle, but we won't discuss that (yes, Amanda, you were right, I shouldn't have tested my luck).

So basically I planted my ass on the couch and didn't do anything for a couple days. I did try a walk on Friday, and we went to the hockey game (where I was back to overcome funnel cake temptation). Sunday we went to church, but then an apple fritter got the best of me.

FYI: just because it supposedly has apple in it, this does not balance the deep fried pastry. Trust me.

Also, let us discuss cheesecake for a moment. Cheesecake is a wonderful thing, and they've got those awesome tubs of JUST THE FILLING.

TWO WORDS:
So far I have been able to mostly avoid the tastiness that is my cheesecake, but it's a daily fight. I'm trying to limit myself to small slices. Miniscule slices. Slices that could hardly be considered slices.

As far as working out, I haven't really. I've done some walking, but that's the extent. I'm going to attempt the gym today after I bring my kids to school, so we will see how that goes. I may have to bring my trusty barf bucket.

Charming, eh?

Original Weigh In: FAT.
1st Week Weigh In: LOST 11 pounds!!

In Which I Take The Lead

I have spent the past two days with my head alternating between being in a toilet, or positioned being over a bucket. I got the stomach bug that's been going around. I had it in my mind to post a picture (tasteful picture of someone's head in a toilet?) but when I searched Google Images, the vast amounts of porn disturbed me so much that I kind of had the urge to barf again.

So no pictures of THAT.

Anywho, the upside of this bug was that I have lost 8 lbs in 2 days. Pretty sure that the reason for this is because there is absolutely nothing left in my digestive system, but hey, we take what we can get. At least this didn't happen:

Also, I got to watch television by myself all day (and yes, Amanda, this means that I was watching "that show" again. Do not come between me and my truckers again!) and eat Ritz crackers while sipping on miniscule amounts of Gatorade. Since Dan was working, I sent him a beautiful picture of my "I am sick" set-up.

Look! It's what every nerdy girl needs when she's ill! Her computer, her glasses, her PS3 controller and rations! The only thing that's missing is the Skyrim strategy guide that was on my lap.

Now I'm feeling back to my snarky, evil self. God help us all. We're heading to a hockey game tonight, and I'm hoping that my stomach will remember how it felt these past couple of days before it starts demanding rink dogs.

In Which I Overindulged

I met my original goal this past year and then promptly gained twenty-five pounds back.

I am ashamed.

Yesterday was Valentine's Day, and I took full advantage of the chocolate, the heart shaped doughnuts, the hibatchi lunch, the steak dinner with a bottle of wine and cake balls dipped in chocolate.

I'm paying for it now.

Not only am I sick as hell from all that fat, but I don't fit in my skinny pants anymore. I have two pairs of pants that fit and don't make me feel like an Ice Road Trucker needs to be putting an "Oversize Load" sign on my rear end.


Why yes, yes I do have an unhealthy obsession with Ice Road Truckers. Disregard this level of nerdiness (more like AWESOMENESS).

In other news, my sister got herself a boyfriend. Even more shocking, I adore her boyfriend. He's at almost the same level of epic as I am. 98% to my 100%. Anyway, the two of them will be visiting next month and so he and I agreed to a friendly bet. Biggest Loser. Let's do this, Evan.